Remember that intimate conversation you had with your son? The one where you said, “I love you and I need you to know that no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is not an invitation to cat call, taunt, harass or assault her”?
Or when you told your son, “A woman’s virginity isn’t a prize and sleeping with a woman doesn’t earn you a point”?
How about the heart-to-heart where you lovingly conferred the legal knowledge that “a woman doesn’t have to be fighting you and you don’t have to be pinning her down for it to be RAPE. Intoxication means she can’t legally consent, NOT that she’s an easy score.”
Or maybe you recall sharing my personal favorite, “Your sexual experiences don’t dictate your worth just like a woman’s sexual experiences don’t dictate hers.”
Last but not least, do you remember calling your son out when you discovered he was using the word “slut” liberally? Or when you overheard him talking about some girl from school as if she were more of a conquest than a person?
I want you to consider these conversations and then ask yourself why you don’t remember them. The likely reason is because you didn’t have them. In fact, most parents haven’t had them."
What’s scary is that you KNOW the majority of young men receive the OPPOSITE kinds of messages both from their parents and the culture around them. And then people are surprised or defensive when a so-called “good” guy takes advantage of a women. And excuses are made to make her at fault, rather than blaming the perpetrator and all those who taught him for his entire life that what he did wasn’t really wrong. Rape culture is a cycle, and education like that shown above is what can help break it down.
I’m Commandeerin’ this vessel and there’s nothin’ you can do about it! Arrrrr!!
- Fetusbeard, Captain of the S.S. Body
Though same-sex couples cannot legally marry there, some Wisconsin judges believe that adoption, in the meantime, shouldn’t be a hurdle for LGBT families.
Even though same-sex couples are currently unable to marry in the state, judges in Wisconsin’s Dane County are recognizing the existing marriages of same-sex couples and are allowing them to adopt their spouse’s children, an attorney for the couples told BuzzFeed News.
“What we’re trying to do as the law is changing around marriage equality in Wisconsin is explore and establish the laws and equal protections for children of same-sex couples,” said Michele L. Perreault, a family law attorney, who has represents same-sex couples who have sought adoption rights.
Just Wednesday, a Dane County judge granted Kat and Teresa Riley’s requests to adopt each other’s children, as stepparents. In that case, Kat Riley adopted Teresa’s 2-year-old biological daughter and Teresa adopted Kat’s 4-year-old biological son. Now both children have two legal parents and, as a result, rights involving such things as inheritance and protections like child support and health insurance coverage from both, Perreault said.
“It was a good day,” Kat Riley told BuzzFeed News when reached by phone. “God forbid anything happens to us, there wouldn’t be any concerns as to who the parent of this child is and where this child belongs and or any concerns like that. These have been our children since the moment they were conceived and it feels really good to know that going forward they are protected and we are protected as a family.”
Perreault said the judge made an important decision to validate a same-sex couple’s marriage and their ability to stepparent-adopt, and more importantly, to ensure that their children are protected. “Everyone wants equal rights, but it’s also about equal obligations — obligations that come with being a parent,” she said. “Without legal obligations, you can’t order child support from someone with no legal connection and you can’t order health insurance, for example.”
Before now, Kat and Teresa were viewed under the law as the guardians of each other’s biological children, Kat Riley said. Because of that, the couple had to go out of their way to protect themselves, like “carrying around guardianship papers in the diaper bag, basically, on the off chance that we ended up taking each other’s biological child to a medical facility that might not respect our marriage.”
Dane County Circuit Judge Shelley Gaylord said she must recognize the Rileys’ 2013 legal marriage from Iowa as valid in the case, due to recent rulings in federal court that found Wisconsin’s ban on marriage for same-sex couples unconstitutional, the Wisconsin State Journal reported. On Sept. 4, a panel of the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals in Chicago ruled that Indiana’s and Wisconsin’s marriage bans are unconstitutional.
The Rileys’ case is among several successful same-sex adoption requests Perreault has handled in the county or has heard of occurring in other parts of the state involving same-sex couples married elsewhere as well as during a brief period in Wisconsin when hundreds married following an earlier court ruling against the ban; however, she said it’s impossible to know how many same-sex couples have been granted adoptions rights seeing as the court records for juvenile cases are closed. The favorable rulings, though, are limited in scope and don’t force other judges to come to the same decision, the attorney said.
In this particular case, Wisconsin Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen declined to intervene and challenge the couple’s request, which means it’s unlikely to be appealed to a higher court, Perreault said. With that, the attorney said she plans to keep pushing similar cases in hopes of bringing Van Hollen and Gov. Scott Walker to make a statement on whether same-sex couples and their children should have the same rights and protections as everyone else.
Opposite-sex couples in the state have automatic adoption rights when married, as the child is presumed to be a child of the marriage and therefore receive the rights and protections from both spouses, according to Perreault. Conversely, “same-sex spouses who have children through adoption or surrogacy or artificial insemination don’t have any legal rights or obligations to those children,” she said.
“We want to establish and clarify the law related to marital presumption, so that when married same-sex couples give birth to a child through surrogacy or artificial insemination or adopt a child, even out of foster care, there will be the same marital presumption with the rights and obligations to the children,” Perreault said. “We don’t want people to have to adopt their own children.”
Kat Riley said her case is a good step forward for the state in protecting all families but that there’s still “a long way to go” until that happens.
“Our family has these protections, but not every family does,” she said. “Not every family can afford to do what we’ve done by hiring an attorney and going to court.”
Source: Tony Merevick for Buzzfeed News
Thursday marked two major events for Tumblr’s community of “True Crime” fandom: it was the birthday of Dylan Klebold, and it was also the night that another school shooter, Thomas “T.J.” Lane, briefly escaped from prison.
Thursday marked two major events for Tumblr’s community of “True Crime” fandom: it was the birthday of Dylan Klebold, one of the killers in Columbine High School massacre. And it was also the night that another school shooter, Thomas “T.J.” Lane, briefly escaped from prison. (He was re-apprehended not far from the prison.)
In 2012, Lane opened fired in the Chardon High School cafeteria, killing three kids and injuring three more, including one student who is now paralyzed from the waist down. But what really sets Lane apart, other than the fact that he’s still alive, was the way he cruelly taunted the families of the children he murdered. During his sentencing hearing he wore a shirt that said “KILLER” and gave the following statement:
This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. Fuck all of you.
When Lane escaped from the Allen Correctional Facility in Lima, Ohio, last night, police searched frantically for him and warned locals to not to give rides to hitchhikers or open the door for strangers. Meanwhile the True Crime fandom on Tumblr made jokes:
Lane was captured early Friday morning, reportedly holding a pitchfork, which prompted even more jokes:
Tumblr’s hybristophilia (the sexual attraction to people who’ve committed violent crimes) community is well known. As Rachel Monroe wrote at The Awl in 2012, the country was shocked by the teenage girls who fawned over James Holmes, the Aurora, Colorado, shooter who opened fire on a screening of The Dark Knight Rises. Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsaraev is also a popular figure.
However, it’s the Columbine story that users seem to be most captivated by.
…the Holmies were just an offshoot of the already-existing Tumblr worlds of girls who crush, hard, on killers. Ted Bundy,Richard Ramirez, and Charles Manson all have their groupies, but the widest and most prolific group seems to be theColumbiners, who have devoted themselves to Columbine shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
Yesterday, September 11, would have been Klebold’s 33rd birthday, a day of mourning in the Columbiner community:
Tumblr’s True Crime fandom is aware of the scrutiny it gets from the outside world, especially the not-obsessed-with-mass-murderers part of Tumblr.
Three posts from Shotsofdylan.
Shotsofdylan, the same blog that posted the bit of Dylan/T.J. fanfiction above, wrote:
People who actually think we support murderers and condone their actions are fucking idiots. If you bothered to talk to most of us, we don’t condone anything bad they ever did. And most of us are intelligent, forgiving, compassionate people who learned a lot about humanity and life through the murderers we’re interested in. Don’t talk shit about us before you get to know us. Thanks.
Monroe argued at The Awl that there’s actually not that much of a difference between Columbiners and Beliebers — both have intense infatuations with unattainable (in)famous people. “Perhaps what’s so disturbing about the Columbiners is not who they’re crushing on, but how it’s actually not so difficult to imagine what it might be like to be one,” she wrote. Tumblr’s True Crime fangirls, particularly the ones amused by Lane, aren’t obsessed with the killing, but the image of the person they’ve imagined. Lane is “bold" and "smug" and "cute.” The Columbine killers deserve empathy. The victims that made these killers famous aren’t relevant.
Source: Arit John for The Wire
white people have lost their minds
This is disgusting…